The fine art of saying no

I’ve always been someone who finds it hard to say no. I think lots of people have this problem and it stems from a number of issues. Sometimes it is about not wanting to appear rude.  Sometimes it is about fear of missing out on an opportunity.  Sometimes it is just so ingrained within us to say yes, that the idea of saying no doesn’t appear until you have already agreed to something that, on reflection, you would have preferred not to.

Saying no there would have saved me an awful lot of energy.

I’ve been working on my ability to say no a lot more over the last few months.  Having so much on with so little spare time means that I have had to be more ruthless in what I commit to doing.  I’ve also been reflecting on some previous experiences where I’ve said yes on the basis of that adage ‘you only regret opportunities you don’t take’.  Well, I can say that, for me, that’s not true.  I once took a job because I was asked to do it.  I was really flattered to have been asked and even though it wasn’t particularly a job that I had been that interested in, I took it.  Because I thought I would regret it if I didn’t.  I learnt from that experience.  The job took a lot out of me and, on reflection, didn’t give enough back.  Saying no there would have saved me an awful lot of energy.  Rather than regret that, I’ve tried to use the experience to give me more confidence in saying no.

Now I’m in the process of leaving one job, setting up both a business and a consultancy, relocating to Lincolnshire in June, training for my first Olympic distance triathlon (also in June) as well as all the standard being a mum thing!  Recently I was asked to do a book review for a special Summer edition of Air Power Review, to write an article for Britethink (which aims to connect people to opportunities in entrepreneurship, career advice, education and much more) as well as take on a franchise.  I think in the past I would have said yes to them all, even though I would be feeling quite frazzled about getting it all done.  Instead, I’ve politely declined (for now) the franchise opportunity.  The book review I finished yesterday and I’m putting the final touches on the article today before sitting back and enjoying a well-earned break!

For those that need a bit more help in learning to say no, I loved this short article from Career Girl Daily (a great blog that is really easy to read).  In the meantime, I hope you are all relaxing over the remains of the Easter eggs and enjoying some time to yourself.

Happy venturing, peeps x

Flu

I am recovering (nearly recovered) from flu.  I spent a whole day being unable to move from the sofa, which is interesting when you have sole charge of a 3 year old who really does need outdoor activity.  I discovered it is entirely possible to play junior Monopoly just dangling one arm off the sofa, especially when you don’t care enough to count the money out properly.

But now I am beginning to feel better again, I am in the process of my next steps!  I’ve just registered my company name through Companies House (which costs just £15 so please be aware of the scammy type sites that will charge you up to £90 to register!  Don’t even attempt it through anything other than the gov.uk site).  I’m now trying to find someone to do the logo and website.  Whilst I could probably do at least the website myself, it makes no sense at all for me to spend a couple of weeks doing something myself that someone else could do in about 2 hours.  Yes, it will require money up front, but I think it is a wise investment.  I have a friend of a friend that I hope to engage for this work, but if you have any recommendations, please let me know.  On the Self Employment workshop, one of the recommendations for this kind of work was via Fiverr which is a US version of peopleperhour where you pay for specific jobs.  The US version is low paid, typically $5 per job.  My first thought was ewwwww.  That just feels exploitative.  And why would I go to the US for work that can be done in my own country?  And that’s when I realised that regardless of not having a lot of things ready for my company, I already have an ethos which will be built into the brand. I am NOT going to exploit people even if I need to source things inexpensively.

Anyway, back to my company.  I’m keeping the name under wraps until my Companies House registration is fully confirmed and my domain name is sorted, but I can tell you a little about it.  My product line will comprise of bespoke baby and children quilts, including keepsake quilts made from favourite babygrows and other clothes, keepsake toys made from first sleepsuits, craft kits to make your own projects ranging from small make-up bags to quilts, bags (galore, from make-up bags to hand bags), cushions and bunting.  I’ve been lucky enough to get my dibs on some gorgeous materials from a friend of a friend who runs an interior design business.  I can’t wait to get sewing with the velvets that are going to make the most luxurious cushions.  I may not want to sell them!  I also bought 9 metres of divine purple shot silk which I am going to use for dressmaking.  I’m not sure my dress making skills are up to scratch enough to sell but I’m certainly looking forward to making something for myself.  As usual, my problem is having the time to turn all of my dreams and doodles into reality!  However, hubby returns today after 6 months away so once we are back to normal at B-R Towers, my little sewing machine won’t know what’s hit it!  And next week, more work on Learning and Development Consultancy stuff including the long overdue CV re-write.  I hope everything is similarly productive for all you out in Venture Land.  Let me know how you’re getting on by leaving a comment or dropping me a line on venturingforavocation@outlook.com.  Happy Venturing x